My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
