OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
