Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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