i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
