That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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