Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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