im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
