Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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(310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details. http://tfl.nu/0mu6

Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (2118)
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(630): View more from Illinois

all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed

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(630): all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed http://tfl.nu/xhsk

Replies (28) Good night (21158) Bad night (1154)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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(906): I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up. http://tfl.nu/m243

Replies (16) Good night (3912) Bad night (801)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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(609): So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/c5bq

Replies (36) Good night (9747) Bad night (792)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.

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(780): He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done. http://tfl.nu/315y

Replies (19) Good night (4217) Bad night (2525)
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(207): View more from Maine

Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

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(207): Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask. http://tfl.nu/6wlk

Replies (6) Good night (2788) Bad night (985)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.

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(+44): Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out. http://tfl.nu/bww1

Replies (11) Good night (5676) Bad night (876)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.

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(610): Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole. http://tfl.nu/uyw0

Replies (11) Good night (3670) Bad night (816)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.

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(412): I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent. http://tfl.nu/3146

Replies (20) Good night (2250) Bad night (858)
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(410): View more from Maryland

My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

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(410): My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/txqd

Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (785)
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(805): View more from California

I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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(805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v

Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (485)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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(908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc

Replies (16) Good night (1680) Bad night (625)
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(646): View more from New York

The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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(646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq

Replies (6) Good night (397) Bad night (964)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I pray for you bro.

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(609): I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place. (215): I pray for you bro. http://tfl.nu/qs2m

Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (591)
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(775): View more from Nevada

This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story

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(775): This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story http://tfl.nu/e7wa

Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (382)

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