Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3. http://tfl.nu/dq7j
  Replies (40) Good night (663) Bad night (5347)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser. http://tfl.nu/l90y
  Replies (17) Good night (5357) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472
  Replies (63) Good night (15178) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice... http://tfl.nu/x7so
  Replies (7) Good night (4249) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing. http://tfl.nu/ut8a
  Replies (4) Good night (3264) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan... http://tfl.nu/8psb
  Replies (20) Good night (977) Bad night (4031)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring http://tfl.nu/dlju
  Replies (24) Good night (12576) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me http://tfl.nu/oobt
  Replies (5) Good night (2110) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx
  Replies (9) Good night (859) Bad night (2502)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check? http://tfl.nu/1mv7
  Replies (7) Good night (1033) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...." http://tfl.nu/2b45
  Replies (5) Good night (743) Bad night (1948)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before" http://tfl.nu/z6i7
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rvlh
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me http://tfl.nu/upe9
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that http://tfl.nu/q232
  Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (178)

Randomize