Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
