ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
