Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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