you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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