I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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