I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
