she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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