omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
