I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
