yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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