You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
