I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
