I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
