The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
