That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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