Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
