Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
