no, he came in my armpit
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
40s are totally the cure
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
