I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
