She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
