Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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