i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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