Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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