8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
