Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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