We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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