U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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