I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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