i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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