IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
