i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
