haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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