He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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