Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
that may or may not have been my penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
