This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
