The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
