I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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