lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I forgot wine drunk hurts
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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