He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The power of my boobs compel you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
