Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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