Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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