What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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