I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
