Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
