I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
