Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
