im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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