32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
