we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
