Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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