R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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