I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
